Control = Paranoia

Morning comes really fast when you have something on your mind. A constant nagging thought that keeps banging the side of your head like a hammer. You find your body still limp-still asleep, but your mind keeps saying, "Wake up, you fool, life has a new obstacle for you, and you won't be able to get through it until you figure it out RIGHT NOW!" So you think and think and think until your head starts to pound and your eyelids swell up. Soon, you try to "snap yourself out of it" by tossing and turning while you think to yourself "Turning over to my right side will make me more tired," or "If I can only find the right position, then I will fall asleep." Getting up? Well that's not an option! It's 3A.M. for goodness sakes. There could still be "bad people" running around robbing places. What if I am awake and they decide to choose my apartment? What would I do? Where would I hide? Paranoid you say? Yeah absolutely! But why you ask? Because I want CONTROL. The stakes are high in life. You've worked and fought through some really tough things to get to where you are. You have a plan, a purpose, and will that should...no MUST...be considered. I am sure all of you can easily fill in this blank for yourself, "I could only be happy if I had ______." Easy right? Especially when you feel that the one thing is honorable and worthy of approval from that higher being. Now that, definitely brings paranoia right?
I believe everyone is a little paranoid in their own way. "What will I do if I loose my job?" What's my boss going to throw at me today?" "Why don't my parents understand me?" Whether it's the middle of the night or in the middle of the day these paranoid thoughts scare us to death, because we have no control, no plan.

Comments

  1. Kevin BellenfantMarch 12, 2010 at 10:48 AM

    Great job Rosie! This will be a great place for us to gain insight as to the trials and tribulations of Rosalinda Lopez.

    What makes her tick? What's going on behind that pretty face of hers? Will she ever pull her head out from under the blankets?

    Honestly, my first thoughts while reading this were that you have finally become your mom...lol.

    Then as I progressed I realized that it was much worse than that. I had no idea we had screwed you up so badly. Some of this, at least, must be Marco's fault?

    Well, I guess I'm going to have to be careful here, or I'll be the first one banned from you new blog.

    Love you!!

    Dad

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMarch 12, 2010 at 12:19 PM

    Haha No I really appreciated your comment. I really do agree about me becoming like mom and all. Thanks Dad! I hope you have fun reading from my blog here and there. Your comments are always appreciated.
    Love you!
    Rosie :D

    ReplyDelete

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